How To Confess Your Undying Affection
by Cobalt-Sniper
Summary: A series of oneshots about the various ways Karkat and John get together. Complete because they can all be read separately. Rating subject to change.


**So here's the first in a series of oneshots of all the ways Karkat and John get together!**

**Marked as complete because every chapter can be read along.**

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Your name is Karkat Vantas, and John just bumped into you.

Here you are, in the lounge room of the big-ass house you got given after the game ended, minding your own business, when one John Egbert collides with one innocent shoulder.

"Oh, hey Karkat." He mumbles, not meeting your eyes.

"Hey, John." You reply, not looking up.

He laughs softy. "Wow."

Okay, when John Egbert says wow, you look up "What?"

He chuckles again. "No 'hello, you pathetic excuse for a sentient being'? Are you okay, Karkat?"

You stand up and put on your best mocking expression. "I'm sorry, would you rather I berate your worthless existence? Because I can, you little shit."

John looks down again. "No, I wouldn't. It's just…"

"Just what?"

"Don't you hate me? Like, a lot?"

You take a step forward. "What makes you think I don't? It's kinda hard not to, y'know. Something to do with you being a bulge-munching fuckbucket."

"Yeah, you're right…" he mumbles.

"Woah." The mocking expression leaves your face. "Did I hear right? The eternally happy, never ending bucket of smiles, actually agreed with one of my insults?"

"Well, yeah…"

"What, did Dave break up with you or something?"

A small smile escapes John, before quickly disappearing again. "But really, when you think about it, I kind of suck."

"Woah." You take a step back "Woah, woah, woah. You actually think you suck. John Egbert thinks he suck. CALL THE PRESSES, HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE." You joke, in a frail attempt to hide your concern.

He rubs at his arms. "I guess I actually always thought that. This is just the first time I didn't act to the contrary."

"What the hell, John? Who caused this? I literally cannot cope with your lack of happiness."

"Why? Because you actually care, or because there's nothing for you to break?" he mocks your sneer.

"I would lay down one of my best insults right now, but it's not the same without you denying it and being ecstatic at the same time." You dodge the question expertly. "So in all honesty, what's wrong?"

He sighs. "I just feel like all of this is my fault. All of it."

"All of what?"

John shakes his head. "You know what, forget it."

"No. What's wrong, John?" you stare at him.

And he chuckles.

"I'm not telling you. It's not like you actually care."

"John, I am honestly considering showing you just how worried I am right now. In fact, you know what?"

You let the look of total worry and concern you have been holding back flood onto your face. You guide John towards one of the more comfortable couches. You sit down, taking him with you. "Now, what's wrong? And don't you dare make some shit up."

He sighs, long and soft. "Alright, fine. I miss my dad. I feel like I'm a burden to everyone. I could have done so much more in the battle. And I could've joined you guys on the meteor, but I stayed on the ship instead, 'cause I was scared of meeting all of you." There are tears in his eyes by now.

"Oh my god, John." You groan. "Look at it this way: if you hadn't played the game, the meteors would've killed everyone. You saved them, John."

"What about all the fucked up stuff that happened in the game?" he retorts.

"That's not your fault, either. Now, be specific. What's the main issue here? Because I know something happened to put all of this shit in your head." You put your hand on his shoulder.

John pauses for a minute before answering, as if trying to figure it out himself. Then he answers.

"I'm tired of you hating me for no good reason. Because when you insult me, I start agreeing with what you say."

You draw out a long breath before you answer. "Okay, what I'm about to tell you, you cannot tell anyone else. You have to promise me."

John sighs dramatically before answering. "Fine, I guess so."

You nod, then start talking. "When I say I hate you, I really hate what you did. You were so much better than me at the game. You went through it all without changing a bit, and I hated you for it."

You can see the disbelieving look on his face, so you interrupt him before he starts. "Ad before you say I'm lying, think about why, if I hated you as a person, I kept talking to you. A part of me hates myself for blaming you for being better than me. So go ahead, call me an idiot, I won't deny it."

A long, slightly uncomfortable pause follows.

Then John speaks.

"So all that time, you weren't an angry kid letting out your rage, you were just another messed up guy who needed someone to talk to."

You chuckle at his comparison. "Yeah, I guess. But if you tell anyone, you're dead."

John nods. "I promise not to tell anyone unless you want me to."

"Good."

"You know, I never expected you to say something like that. I mean, you're a really good person, Karkat. You're like my better-than-best friend. If anything, I love you."

You freeze. Did you hear right? Is this a thing that is happening?

"And you can take that however you want." He continues "Because whatever you think it is, that's probably valid."

You stare at him, leaning a bit closer. You are not throwing away this opportunity.

"I think I'm going to take it this way."

And then you kiss him.

John is most definitely surprised, but he doesn't pull away. After a moment he pushes against you, tongue meeting tongue. It feels absolutely amazing, but you pull away after a minute or two.

"I love you too, John."

He takes a moment to catch his breath before replying.

"Are we both thinking of the same way, or is this gonna get real awkward real fast?"

You sigh. "I honestly hope we are, but I have no regrets either way. I said it. It's out there. Your move, John."

He laughs a dorky laugh. "Yeah, I think 'no homo' just swan-dived out the window."

"It even threw rainbow glitter on the way down."

You laugh at your combined joke for a minute.

John stops laughing and looks at you. "Can you please do something mean and abrasive? Seeing you like this is borderline disturbing."

You scowl abrasively. "Why should I?"

John's face lights up. "There's my Karkat."

Your scowl falls again. "Oh my god. You actually said that."

"I said that. Deal with it." He replies, a serious expression complementing the hilarity of the statement.

"Ha ha. Okay, Egbert." You laugh.

"So, what now?" he asks.

"Isn't that the question?" you murmur. "Are you sure you're okay? Because yes, I really do care."

John smiles softly. "I think I'm okay now."

"Good." You smile, wrapping your arm around his shoulders. "You really scared me, John. Don't do anything stupid."

"I won't. I promise." He whispers.

"You'd better not." You glower, before letting your expression become neutral. "So, are you going to tell anyone about this?"

"This?" he asks. You gesture towards your arm, which is still wrapped around his shoulders. "Oh, that. If you don't want me to, I'll stay quiet about it."

"It's your call. You're kinda the reason this thing's happening." You laugh silently.

"Well, I want to, but I don't want you to get embarrassed or anything." He rubs at his elbows awkwardly.

"Really, though. If you want to, go ahead. Just tell me first."

"Y'know what, let's just treat it like a normal thing and see if people catch on."

You nod. "Yeah, let them figure this shit out."

John laughs loudly. "I'm probably grinning like an idiot right now."

You chuckle. "I thought I was the only one."

John leans forward and stares at you, prodding your cheek experimentally.

"Holy crap, you're actually smiling."

You smile a bit wider. "Yeah, alert the masses why don't you."

"I like it." He grins. "It makes you look friendly. I think you should smile more."

"Maybe I will." You say, your voice slightly teasing.

"Ha ha. Oh, god." John sighs happily. "I feel freaking fantastic right now, I hope you know that."

"Good. Otherwise I'd be that guy freaking out over nothing."

"That always sucks…" John mumbles, leaning against you.

A comfortable silence passes, broken only by someone banging around in the kitchen and Gamzee's incredibly loud music blaring from upstairs.

John shifts slightly to face you. "Hey, do you remember that thing with the message in a bucket?"

How could you forget? That was most likely the most embarrassing moment in the history of Karkat Vantas.

"Vaguely." You lie expertly.

"I don't think I ever apologized for that." He says sheepishly. "So, um, sorry, I guess."

"Apology accepted." You nod, smiling. John's right, it does feel nice.

"Wow, all of that was so long ago! I feel old."

"Join the club." You joke.

"When's the meeting?" John asks.

"Next Sunday. Bring cake."

"EW!" John flips the fuck out, making a disgusted face.

"Relax, I'm kidding." You laugh, patting John's arm.

"NEVER joke about cake." John shivers, leaning into you.

"Whatever you say." You whisper, wrapping your arm around him as his head comes to rest on your shoulder.

A few minutes pass, and you realize John has fallen asleep. Your smile fades slightly, less amused and more sincere.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and it's moments like these that you never forget.

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**So here's the first chapter of 'How To Confess Your Undying Affection'! This was based off of an MSPARP, but I will take suggestions on what the next oneshots should be!**

**Rate and review!**


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